Our "Gathering As Sisters" post series is designed to help us as sisters within our wards/branches see that we are part of a whole - that across the stake there are other groups of sisters gathering together in activities and service to support & teach one another and develop friendships as they fulfill the purposes of the Relief Society in building faith, strengthening families and providing relief. Each month through the end of this year, we will share one or two highlights from activities within our Relief Societies.
We have truly been blessed with our current Handbook of Instruction that allows each ward/branch to counsel together and then plan with inspiration according to their specific needs. We hope that by sharing some of the wonderful things happening within our wards/branches, we can understand better the individual yet similar needs we share as sisters in the Columbia Maryland Stake.
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Our Hampstead Ward Sisters:
For our February activity we got together to try and improve our communication and better understand our style of communication. We gathered together in a circle so it would be easy to talk with one another. I handed out a quiz for everyone to take, so they could understand their communication style. Everyone loved it. It was fun and informative. Then I threw out some questions to get the conversation flowing about what things they have all learned, what bothers them, what do they like, what has worked when communicating with your spouse, co-worker, children, etc. we laughed about the mistakes we've made and we were able to learn what works for others that we might try in our own lives. We ended our activity with cookies and milk and conversation hearts. It was a laid back, but enjoyable and informative activity.
-Ashton Jensen
Here are some of the tips/advice from their activity:
From Barry L. Johnson, associate professor of sociology, serves as bishop of the
Brigham Young University 148th Ward, BYU Sixth Stake - Here are some suggestions to help you improve your “couple talk.”
1. When you want to talk about concerns and problems with your spouse, pick a comfortable setting, one free of distractions or interruptions. Choose a
place where the two of you can be alone.
2. Talk face to face, close enough to touch each other and with enough light
to see each other’s features clearly.
3. Express your thoughts and feelings by using “I” messages rather than
“you” messages (blaming and criticizing statements). Try “I feel unimportant
when I don’t get to explain the problem” instead of “You never listen to me!”
4. Keep your comments brief—no more than two sentences.
5. Don’t put your spouse on the defensive. Express negative feelings in a
respectful manner, such as, “When I am criticized, I feel angry and hurt.” Say
how you want the burgers cooked rather than criticizing after they’re done.
Accentuate the positive.
6. Don’t hide your feelings behind intellectual jargon. Instead, be kindly
straightforward about what you really feel and think.
7. Make requests clear and respectful: “I’d like you to put gas in the car this
morning. Do you have time to do that?” 8. Do not try to be a mind reader. The only way to find out what your
spouse thinks or feels is to ask.
9. Do not blame, demean, or accuse. Focus on the problem rather than
criticizing. Use the no‐fault approach: “I’m uncomfortable/unhappy with this
situation. Let’s talk about what we can do to change it.”
10. Remember that listening, controlling anger, and using the appropriate
tone of voice all contribute to good communication. Nagging, conversational
discourtesies, and sullen silence detract from it.
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Our Columbia 1 Ward Sisters:
In March, many Relief Societies across the world celebrated the birthday of the Relief Society. I was able to visit the activity held by the Columbia 1 Ward sisters. They enjoyed a salad bar, a fun baby picture matching game, table question prompts designed to help sisters get to know each other better, yummy cake and lots of chatting & mingling. It was fun to be with them and it was clear how much they enjoyed getting together.
-Lorie Pierce
